So, I woke up from a lovely sleep on Sunday to find that 800MB data and R94 airtime has disappeared while I sleep. Obviously, I quickly phone Vodacom's data center (082 155)and ask, what's up Vodacom call center guy? He very cordially says that they have no idea, but they will log a call and someone will phone me in the next 2 days.
Well, after that lovely discussion I go through my day to be surprised at 13:00 on a Sunday afternoon to receive a complimentary 500MB data bundle from Vodacom. Wow, that is great service. I can't wait for the Vodacom technician guy to phone me so we can discuss my remaining 300MB and R94 airtime.
Two days pass. The crickets keep cricking and birds keep birding. What? No call yet, there must be some huge error going on over at Vodacom. I am sure they are working extremely hard to keep me, a 12 year loyal customer happy.
By Tuesday evening I decide to follow up.
Me: Hi Vodacom Data Center lady. Could you please check what is going on. You seem to have forgotten about me.
Vodacom Data Center lady: We sent you SMS dummy. It says that your data is gone.
Me: Well, I never received anything.
Vodacom Data Center lady: We loaded 500MB on your phone.
Me: Yes, but what about the remaining 300MB and R94?
Vodacom Data Center lady: You got your data what do you want me to do?
Me: MANAGER!@!!@!#@@@#$@#@#@#^%%^#$@#^^@$%^@#!$!!!
Manager: Hello Sir, we love you.
Me: What? No, sort out my query and tell them I want to speak to a technician. NO SMS. VERBAL talkie talkie. Okay?
Manager: Of course Sir, we love you.
Me: Okay, hold back there buddy. Is it logged?
Manager: Yes Sir, we love you.
Wednesday afternoon.
I receive another SMS saying that my billing is fine and that I must be some kind of idiot to think that Vodacom will ever return anything to me, a 12 year not-completely-as-loyal-as-before customer.
Vodacom Data Center lady: Hello Sir
Me: Stop the crap, give me my money.
Vodacom Data Center lady: But Sir, there is nothing we can do.
Me: Stop the crap, give me my money. Get a technician to phone me Vodacom Data Center lady.
Vodacom Data Center lady: Fine!
Me: Fine!
Thursday
Log my complaint on Hellopeter.com. Receive a phone call within 2 hours.
Vodacom technician oke: You crazy guy, it's your apps that use data. At this rate you'll easily use a Gig a month.
Me: That's why I buy a Gig bundle every month Vodacom technician oke aka genius of the month.
Vodacom technician oke: Oh, well Apple has been doing back-end updates they think on Apple Maps. It was updating.
Me: I don't use apple maps as I do not like driving into the ocean.
Vodacom technician oke: Well, it's not a Vodacom problem, it's apple. They force the update, or someghing.
Me: So every iphone user in the country on all networks has been affected and everyone's data is gone?
Vodacom technician oke: No silly, just you and a couple of other people on Vodacom.
Me: But then how can it be Apple?
Vodacom technician oke: Well, you have location services on and you should have it off.
Me: Oh, so Vodacom is saying that I am not allowed to use the location services of the iPhone while on their network?
Vodacom technician oke: NO! We will never say that, but if you lose data due to this again, and your location services was on, you ain't gettin' nothin' from us.
Me: I shall tell the world of this.
Vodacom technician oke: Whatever inconvenient customer person.
Me: So what about my lost airtime?
Vodacom technician oke: We'll give you a Gig of data.
Me: But you won't admit blame?
Vodacom technician oke: For what?
Me: For the loss of data.
Vodacom technician oke: What loss of data?
Me: The whole thing we were just talking about?!?
Vodacom technician oke: Huh? We were just talking about an apple update that has nothing to do with Vodacom? You're a crazy guy...I like you. hahaha.
Me: *confused* Okay, thx I suppose Vodacom technician oke.
Vodacom technician oke: Ciao sucka!
With a deep sense of darkening dread I put down the phone. What just happened? I feel violated? I feel annoyed? I feel...I feel...
I feel like I lost R210 (airtime and data) and got back R248 in data.
BWAHAHAHA! R38 score! Woohoo! Party time! Directly to the...the...uhm. R38 less time spent on getting it back?
VODACOM WINS AGAIN! Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!
*slumps down in agony and despair*
---the end---
Well, after that lovely discussion I go through my day to be surprised at 13:00 on a Sunday afternoon to receive a complimentary 500MB data bundle from Vodacom. Wow, that is great service. I can't wait for the Vodacom technician guy to phone me so we can discuss my remaining 300MB and R94 airtime.
Two days pass. The crickets keep cricking and birds keep birding. What? No call yet, there must be some huge error going on over at Vodacom. I am sure they are working extremely hard to keep me, a 12 year loyal customer happy.
By Tuesday evening I decide to follow up.
Me: Hi Vodacom Data Center lady. Could you please check what is going on. You seem to have forgotten about me.
Vodacom Data Center lady: We sent you SMS dummy. It says that your data is gone.
Me: Well, I never received anything.
Vodacom Data Center lady: We loaded 500MB on your phone.
Me: Yes, but what about the remaining 300MB and R94?
Vodacom Data Center lady: You got your data what do you want me to do?
Me: MANAGER!@!!@!#@@@#$@#@#@#^%%^#$@#^^@$%^@#!$!!!
Manager: Hello Sir, we love you.
Me: What? No, sort out my query and tell them I want to speak to a technician. NO SMS. VERBAL talkie talkie. Okay?
Manager: Of course Sir, we love you.
Me: Okay, hold back there buddy. Is it logged?
Manager: Yes Sir, we love you.
Wednesday afternoon.
I receive another SMS saying that my billing is fine and that I must be some kind of idiot to think that Vodacom will ever return anything to me, a 12 year not-completely-as-loyal-as-before customer.
Vodacom Data Center lady: Hello Sir
Me: Stop the crap, give me my money.
Vodacom Data Center lady: But Sir, there is nothing we can do.
Me: Stop the crap, give me my money. Get a technician to phone me Vodacom Data Center lady.
Vodacom Data Center lady: Fine!
Me: Fine!
Thursday
Log my complaint on Hellopeter.com. Receive a phone call within 2 hours.
Vodacom technician oke: You crazy guy, it's your apps that use data. At this rate you'll easily use a Gig a month.
Me: That's why I buy a Gig bundle every month Vodacom technician oke aka genius of the month.
Vodacom technician oke: Oh, well Apple has been doing back-end updates they think on Apple Maps. It was updating.
Me: I don't use apple maps as I do not like driving into the ocean.
Vodacom technician oke: Well, it's not a Vodacom problem, it's apple. They force the update, or someghing.
Me: So every iphone user in the country on all networks has been affected and everyone's data is gone?
Vodacom technician oke: No silly, just you and a couple of other people on Vodacom.
Me: But then how can it be Apple?
Vodacom technician oke: Well, you have location services on and you should have it off.
Me: Oh, so Vodacom is saying that I am not allowed to use the location services of the iPhone while on their network?
Vodacom technician oke: NO! We will never say that, but if you lose data due to this again, and your location services was on, you ain't gettin' nothin' from us.
Me: I shall tell the world of this.
Vodacom technician oke: Whatever inconvenient customer person.
Me: So what about my lost airtime?
Vodacom technician oke: We'll give you a Gig of data.
Me: But you won't admit blame?
Vodacom technician oke: For what?
Me: For the loss of data.
Vodacom technician oke: What loss of data?
Me: The whole thing we were just talking about?!?
Vodacom technician oke: Huh? We were just talking about an apple update that has nothing to do with Vodacom? You're a crazy guy...I like you. hahaha.
Me: *confused* Okay, thx I suppose Vodacom technician oke.
Vodacom technician oke: Ciao sucka!
With a deep sense of darkening dread I put down the phone. What just happened? I feel violated? I feel annoyed? I feel...I feel...
I feel like I lost R210 (airtime and data) and got back R248 in data.
BWAHAHAHA! R38 score! Woohoo! Party time! Directly to the...the...uhm. R38 less time spent on getting it back?
VODACOM WINS AGAIN! Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!
*slumps down in agony and despair*
---the end---